


Operation: Choc-Ice

by kaindys



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-05-31 22:43:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6490234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaindys/pseuds/kaindys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the blistering summer heat all Armin wants is the cool rich taste of his favourite chocolate ice-cream. However, when a certain tanned male buys the last one Armin will stop at nothing to get his hands on it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Operation: Choc-Ice

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guuuuyyyyyssss! I haven't wrote a fanfiction (or anything for that matter) in so long omg  
> I think it shows in my writing that I'm a bit rusty but oh well, gotta start somewhere  
> This is my first time writing a humor piece so hopefully it's amusing to some people!  
> Hope you enjoy it and be sure to leave a comment if you can, thank youuuu :)
> 
> Based off of this prompt: http://otpprompts.tumblr.com/post/130654145349/person-a-is-standing-behind-person-b-in-a-line-at

Heat. Sweltering, unforgiving heat. The air was dry and the sun pierced the cloudless sky reducing anything and everything to ash. Okay maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit but it's still really hot. I could feel the beads of sweat running down the side of my face and my body, my top clinging to my damp skin, making me overall look like some disgusting creature you read about in children's books. Letting out a whine I turned to my left, gazing up at my friend to see how she was coping in this godless weather. She looked…she looked fine.

"Sasha what the fuck?" I all about yelled at her, "How are you surviving this weather?"

"Armin look around you, you're the only one dying right now." She retorted with a laugh.

Impossible! Whipping my head in all directions I was greeted with the image of pure bliss; children running, parents smiling, and laughter filling the air. Why is this happening to me? Why am I the only one being punished by Mother Nature?

"Armin this is what you get for living such a sheltered life like just look how pale you are! I'm surprised you've even stepped out of your house once with that skin colour!"

"Only the strong survive in this weather…natural selection is coming for me oh God Sasha" Spinning my body to face her, I collapsed to my knees, hands gripping her shirt, "Save me!"

Gazing up with a pleading look, the sun shone behind her head making her glow as she cast her eyes down towards me with an all knowing smile.

"Food."

"Eh?"

"Food will heal all"

"Sasha what are you talking about? Have you too succumbed to the poisonous effects of the sun? Are you suffering from heat stroke?! We have to find shade right away!"

"Armin stand up you idiot" dragging me to my feet, she spun me by my shoulders and pointed her hand to an ice-cream truck on the other side of the grassy terrain of the park, 

"Ice-cream is what you need!"

"Ice…cream?" Releasing a gasp, I beamed at her "Sasha you genius!"

"Well I don't like to brag but-" Whatever she was about to say will forever remain a mystery as I started sprinting across the park. With my last inkling of energy, my feet propelled me towards the truck. I refuse to die beneath the glare of the sun, I will live on! With chocolate ice-cream! Panting and wheezing for breath I dropped to my knees metres away from the truck. So close.

"Armin hurry there's no line!" Sasha yelled from besides the truck as the last remaining customer departed from the vehicle. Crawling closer and closer I finally collapsed at the foot of the truck, its icy goodness cloaking me in a veil of pleasure.

"Armin you literally ran seven seconds you really need to work on your physical fitness" Sasha remarked but I ignored her, gradually rising to my feet. Slamming my hand down on the counter of the ice-cream truck my eyes shone with a fierce determination as I met the gaze of the driver.

"Chocolate…ice-cream" I rasped "Please"

"Ahh I'm sorry kid, the last chocolate ice-cream just got sold" he said with a sympathetic smile

"No…it can't be" I felt my body fall through the air, not having the strength to hold it much longer. Disappointment and failure is all I now know. Awaiting my demise at the hands of the concrete floor I closed my eyes and accepted my fate. I was thankfully caught by the quick hands of Sasha.

"Armin pull yourself together! You can survive this!"

"Happiness is gone from the world. We are godless creatures. Who would've thought my life would end here. It's been a good one"

"Armin! Nooo!" Sasha wailed.

"Er…" The ice cream truck driver eyed us suspiciously before slowly closing over the window as to not gain our attention. Hearing a sharp intake of breath from above me I cast my gaze up towards my friend who was holding my limp body.

"Armin! It's him! He bought the last chocolate ice-cream!"

Craning my neck over Sasha's arm I met the gaze of a boy who seemed to by my age. He had messy brown hair which was somehow swaying in the breeze. Why does he get to feel the breeze and I don't?! His skin was tan and, to be blunt, was very attractive. His eyes, his beautiful eyes, however were filled with confusion as if staring at something completely odd. What is he looking at that's so strange? Oh it's me. Letting my eyes trail to his hand I saw it. Still in its wrapper, untouched and pure was the heavenly chocolate ice-cream. He opened his mouth as if to say something, his finger pointing towards me and Sasha when he was suddenly dragged away by a girl with shoulder length black hair, her eyes guarded and steely and…wait, is that a scarf?! Am I seriously that weak to the sun?!

"Sasha…we have to get that chocolate ice-cream. It's the only way to save myself"

"You could just get a different ice-cream"

"Sasha that's crazy talk, what do you take me for?"

"You're right, sorry."

"We need to devise a plan of action" My eyes scanned the area until it landed on a climbing frame filled with delighted children, "There!"

Lifting me up and carrying me as if I were a child she sprinted at full speed towards the climbing frame which was now deemed our headquarters.

"Move kids! We have an emergency!" Sasha screamed at them, dropping my body with a thud. Several children vacated the area, the majority of them crying out of fear of this bizarre teenage girl.

"Okay what's the plan?" Sasha asked, her eyes boring into mine.

"We need to create a loss of contact between person A" I said pointing at the brunette boy across the park as he chatted the scarf-girl "And the chocolate ice-cream"

"How?"

"I have two plans." Using a twig that had fell from a nearby tree I began to sketch the plan of action into the dirt. "Plan number one, we essentially steal the ice-cream. Sasha you create a diversion and I will grab the ice-cream from his hand and-"

"Why do I have to be the diversion?" She interrupted "I'm stronger AND faster than you, surely I could get the job done faster?"

"But I'm smaller and dainty and with my bird like body he won't notice me sneaking up behind him! Plus, he knows me face because he saw me as I was eying up his choc-ice"

"Is that what you kids call it nowadays?" Sasha said with a grin

"Sasha!" I screamed, my face going even redder than it already was, "He is the enemy!"

"Whatever I'm just saying he's kind of cute"

"Excellent then you won't have any problem with plan two. This is in case plan one fails and only in that instance, okay?"

"Yeah sure what is it boss?"

"You flirt with him."

"Armin! You know my heart and soul belongs to my dear Connie!" Sasha exclaimed, her eyes wide in disbelief as if I would even hint at the idea of her cheating on her boyfriend

"Sasha I could die right now! Is that what you want? A deceased boy under the climbing frame? People saw you come under here with me, if I die you'll be the prime suspect! Plus you made some children cry so you're not really of good character"

"Armin you can't get me sent to prison for this!"

"Sasha you will be sending YOURSELF to prison" I gave her a knowing look but her gaze remained stern. "Sasha please!" I begged, "I can't do this alone! I…I need you"

"Fine fine fine" She released a breath "I'll do it"

"Thank you…this choc-ice, it's my birth right. The sweet, chocolate goodness mixed with the soft velvety texture of the ice-cream is just-"

"Armin pull yourself together"

"Okay, sorry – let us commence 'Operation: Give Me That Ice-Cream You Bastard'"

"A bit harsh"

"Okay, just 'Operation: Choc-Ice' then"

Crawling out from under the climbing frame in perfect synchronisation, the piercing heat of the sun hit my body as we left the shade. We were met with the judgmental gaze of parents holding their crying children but I pushed that to the back of my mind. If you can't sacrifice things in order to achieve the greater good, you'll never get anywhere. That choc-ice is mine.

The duo were seated on a bench with their backs to us, seemingly laughing about something. The choc-ice remained unopened, creating a stir of emotions within me. On one hand I was grateful that the beauty of my choc-ice had not been corrupted by that evil-but-super-attractive boys hands but I bubbled with rage. How dare he buy a chocolate ice cream and not touch it? Doesn’t he care that it will melt? Unforgivable!

Turning my head to Sasha we both nodded in unison. Taking a deep breath, Sasha sprinted around the bench so that she was in front of the tanned boy and, what I assumed to be, his girlfriend. Looking away from the scene, a pained expression marred my features. I couldn't bear to look, your sacrifice will not be in vain my dear friend. Crawling closer and closer, I could almost taste the chocolate-y goodness. Just a little more and it'll be mine, just a little more.

I froze. The gaze of the scarf-girl met mine. Her stare was unforgiving; no mercy. How did she know I was behind her? Impossible…Everything we've worked for has come to this, to failure. No! I can't think like that! It's the tanned boy that matters, not her. Raising my hand above the bench I flashed two fingers to Sasha indicating that plan two should go into action.

"Oh aren't you attractive with that all that…um…hair and all your own teeth!" I heard Sasha's voice purr. Perfect! This is true friendship! The scarf-girl's head snapped towards Sasha yet her eyes showed no sign of anger. Perhaps a bit of annoyance but I’m sure she’s not angry. Wouldn't you be angry if your boyfriend was getting shamelessly flirted with?

"Oh wow, Eren is it? You're such a man!" Sasha's poor flirting drew my out of my thoughts. Remember the mission! Curving my arm around the side of the bench, my eyes remained focused on the scene in front of me. Sasha was seated on the tanned boy, who I took to be Eren, her hands running through his hair and she yelled about how soft it is and what conditioner he must use. It does look really soft I wonder what it feels like…Armin! Get your head in the game! Shaking away that trail of thought I leaned in, arm outstretched towards the ice-cream. Closer and closer. Almost there!

"Excuse me, ma'am" My head whipping up, I saw a woman cradling a child, her stern gaze fixated on Sasha, "My boy here says you made him and his friends cry"

Oh God no, it was the parent of one of the children Sasha scared away. I hadn't calculated this into my plan of action. The plan is going to fail. I saw Sasha's face become panicked and her breathing began to accelerate.

"It was his fault!" Sasha screamed her finger pointing at me as I lurked behind the bench. I've been exposed!

"Sasha! Why?! We were so close!"

"I'm sorry! Connie forgive me!" She screamed, running in the direction of her bike with tears streaming down her face, going to her boyfriend's house to beg for forgiveness no doubt. I have been abandoned.

"Well? Do you have anything to say for yourself?" The woman turned to me. I could feel the colour drain from my face as I stared at her in horror and embarrassment. My body began to heat up and itch as I started to sweat even more. I don't know what to do. For the first time, my plan has failed and I'm facing the trauma of getting beat up by this mother in front of this super attractive boy. I just want my choc-ice!

"Um excuse me?" The tanned boy spoke! "Sorry about my friend, he's a bit weird sometimes" Rude! It's true but he doesn’t know I’m weird sometimes. Wait, what’s with this ‘friend’ talk?

"Yeah, well" The woman must have took my appearance, pale and my eyes wide in fear, and decided she just wanted to get away from this strange boy "make sure it doesn't happen again!"

"I'll make sure of that ma'am!"

"You…You saved me." I stared at him. This boy who I deemed the spawn of Satan for stealing my precious choc-ice saved me.

"It was only an angry parent it's no big de-"

Leaping up from the ground I seated myself next to him on the bench and grabbed both of his hands in mine. My face was burning red now. My savior!

"I-I need to repay you somehow. My other friend abandoned me and you showed this kindness…I-"

"You could always give me your number"

"I- What?" I could feel my body freeze. My number? Why my number? Was he asking me out? I've literally been planning his demise and he asks for my number?

"Yeah, I, er" He was blushing now as well, "I've been mustering up the courage to ask you out since I saw you earlier cause I thought you were really cute and I didn't even eat my chocolate ice cream cause I was so nervous and now it's melted but yeah I-"

"Eren" The scarf girl said with a soft voice "You're rambling"

"Oh yeah" He turned his head back to me "So er what do you think? Would you like to go out sometime?"

"I-Yeah, that sounds…cool" I smiled at him, my cheeks turning redder by the second.

"Cool" He repeated, a large grin taking over his features as he scratched the back of his neck.

The heat was still just as stifling but I didn't seem to notice it anymore or maybe I just didn’t care. Nor did I seem to notice the chocolate ice cream left to the side melting away.


End file.
